Last night, I was a bit surprised when I did my weekly routine of blog maintenance check-up. I was moderating some comments for publishing and noticed that a couple of “Kaydet Girls” (KGs) sent a comment each to one of my past posts, “On Being A Kaydet Girl.” Gee, it made me realized that oh yes, the PMA Graduation has just finished and most likely, these “Kaydet Girls” are still in seventh heaven.
Looking back in the past when I was once a “Kaydet Girl,” still gives me that bittersweet feeling that I couldn’t explain very well. Like what I always say, being a Kaydet Girl is just one phase in my life that I would always be thankful for because it prepared me for a greater battle.
Not everyone is given a chance to be a KG but it is immaterial to one woman’s “survival” to the military family life. The only advantage I can see in going through that phase is a foretaste of what to expect when you are seriously considering becoming a part of their “world.” Being a Kaydet Girl is also your Borromeo Field.
I remember sitting down in one of the pews of the PMA Evangelical Church last December to witness a good friend’s wedding. I could still remember the message that the officiating minister gave particularly to the bride, which goes something like:
“Hindi pwede sa asawa ng military personnel ang clingy.”
(If you will marry a military personnel, you can’t be too clingy.)
I wish I was also given this kind of reminder during my wedding day.
If you’re a Kaydet Girl and you and your newly-graduated cadet are going for an “immediately,” (getting married immediately after graduating from PMA) this is one advice that I would bravely challenge you to live up to.
My husband and I have been together as a couple for 7 years, and I am somehow and slowly getting the hang of living independently as a military wife. I am not saying that I have already perfected the discipline of being one, but I can say that I am stronger than yesterday.
If you are planning to get married to your now lieutenant or ensign, prepare and pray hard because what you are getting into is certainly not a joke (most especially if you will be marrying an Army man).
I remember when I got pregnant to our firstborn, I take myself to my OB-GYNE on my own. I could still picture myself as I look into those happy couples while in the hospital while waiting for their turn. I always wish in my heart that my husband was there beside me, too.
Cravings or Paglilihi? I don’t think I had that. Why? Sino uutusan kong bumili o maghanap?
Missing on birthdays, anniversary and other important family occasions? Check. Accept the brutal fact that they couldn’t be in any of them most of the time.
Aside from love, a whole lot of TRUST is what keeps me hanging on to our marriage. Our marriage is not perfect; we have our own share of struggles, shortcomings and misunderstandings along the way. What I do is I am trying to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly in my married life wholeheartedly. At times that I want to give up, I always tell myself that I once had a choice, and I chose to take this road and marry him. Hindi naman nya ako pinilit magpakasal sa kanya, so why complain? I had the CHOICE to walk away.
And oh, another piece of advice: Be VERY discerning when joining military wives or kaydet girl groups. There are a lot of important things to be done than talking about other people’s lives, or asking, “May sweldo na ba?” I believe you can do and talk better than that! A small group of trusted friends in the military will get you by.
I am always guided by these wise words when a general spoke in a crowd of military wives:
“You may have washed or ironed our clothes but you can NEVER wear them.”
Raise your eyebrows all you want, but I always believe that respect is earned, not imposed. There is no such protocol in the military for us civilians. To use titles in addressing people, it is encouraged but would still fall under your discretion. That’s my two centavos of it.
Anyway, so much for this drama, I’d like to greet my husband and his honorable classmates, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I’m sure the wives are rejoicing, too.
To my husband, you know how much we miss you, and this post has just reminded me not be clingy, but be a little more understanding, trusting and loving. I am and will always be proud of you.
I commend all the military families around the world! ♥