Let’s get this out-of-the-way: SEX and Premature Ejaculation (PE). Sticky topic for some, but I believe it shouldn’t be avoided and confined into the 4 corners of our marital bedroom. Let me just also affirm everyone that I view sex as something sacred and beautiful, performed within the context of marriage.
When I got this invitation from Menarini Philippines a few weeks back for their Commit to Control Premature Ejaculation (PE) at the Edsa Shangri-la Hotel, I will admit that I also fell on that little awkward state. Then I thought to myself, this is a family lifestyle blog and this topic is worthy of an intelligent discussion because it concerns married couples.
Menarini Philippines’ Commit to Control PE Advocacy Launch was also hosted by RJ Ledesma.
Ledesma opened up the program with a note, “Men with PE often report emotional and relationship distress and some avoid pursuing sexual relationships altogether because of PE-related embarrassment. But the issue is not isolated to men as female partners also experience emotional and psychological distress which often leads to unwanted stress in the relationship.”
RJ Ledesma joins couple Paolo & Suzie Abrera
What is Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
According to Wespes, Amar, et.al., “Premature ejaculation is when a man ejaculates with little sexual stimulation and before the man wishes. This can lead to a decrease in sexual satisfaction and quality of life for men and their partners. Premature ejaculation can take two forms. Men can have premature ejaculation from the first time they have sex (lifelong), or develop premature ejaculation later in life, even after many years of normal ejaculatory experience (acquired).”
There is very little awareness of this sexual condition for us here in the Philippines but it doesn’t mean that we should shake it off in an instant. Men decides to deny it probably because of shame, while the women just go with it. Both men and women suffer sexual dissatisfaction in silence.
Who has PE?
“Premature ejaculation is not linked to any particular age group. Studies have shown that as many men in their fifties have premature ejaculation as men in their teens and early twenties. It appears that premature ejaculation crosses borders and cultures too, with men from different backgrounds and cultures experiencing similar rates of premature ejaculation.”
Menarini’s Commit to Control PE Advocacy Launch was graced by celebrity couples Anthony & Maricel Pangilinan, Paolo & Suzie Abrera, and Lander & Regine Vera Perez.
The Menarini Philippines Commit to Control PE panelists: Paolo Abrera, Lander Vera Perez, Anthony Pangilinan, Suzie Abrera, Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan, and Regine Tolentino-Vera Perez.
On the Red Corner: Suzie Abrera, Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan and Regine Tolentino-Vera Perez
Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan stressed the importance of respect and timing when dealing with PE, “There’s a time and place for everything to talk about it.”
On the other hand, her better half Anthony highlighted the importance of mentoring and accountability if you are facing a problem with PE, “Look for someone you trust as third-party whom you can trust.”
For actor Lander Vera-Perez, acknowledgment is the first step when dealing with PE, “Accept the fact that you have a problem.”
On the Blue Corner: Paolo Abrera, Lander Vera-Perez, and Anthony Pangilinan
Renowned medical experts were also present to provide guidance and wisdom like Dr. Margie Holmes, a noted and popular author and psychologist specializing in sex therapy, and urologist and men’s health expert Dr. Dennis Serrano.
(L-R) Dra. Cai De Quiroz, Menarini Philippines Medical Director, Dra. Margarita Holmes, and Dr. Dennis Serrano
For the bubbly and candid Dra. Margie Holmes, “The issue centers more on lack of control and should be measured not just by time but more on the ability to satisfy one’s partner.”
Dr. Dennis Serrano explains PE in layman’s term, “Premature ejaculation (PE) occurs when a man is unable to control or delay ejaculation on his own wish after vaginal penetration, resulting in short latency time and decreased sexual satisfaction, as well as personal distress and interpersonal difficulty. Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, even higher than Erectile Dysfunction.”
If you suspect that you and your husband are facing this kind of sexual concern, you can now break your silence because there are people and medical persons who understand you perfectly:
- Begin by facing up to the issue.
- Work with your partner — be supportive of each other’s needs and lack.
- Discuss with your partner and the most crucial step, consult with your doctor.
The crux of the problem is that premature ejaculation is not just a physiological problem affecting men, it is an issue that affects relationships between partners, between husbands and wives.
Stress, dissatisfaction, insecurity – the problem of PE affects many, and sadly behind closed doors, many choose to brush it away, when in fact, they can get help. This is one of the objectives of this event and like most things, awareness leads to understanding, understanding will lead to acceptance. And hopefully with acceptance (instead of denial) people can seek help, specifically from their doctors.
Menarini is determined to bring to the forefront of our consciousness the issue of PE — primarily for Filipino couples. The company had set up a website that can help guide a man — and his partner, in determining if he indeed suffers from this condition. The website helps a sufferer find the doctor for him, so that he can get treatment for the condition that hurts him, his partner and their relationship: visit www.controlPE.ph.