Exactly a week ago, the official theatrical trailer of the worldwide hit novel, 50 Shades of Grey was finally launched. I have already parked this book series at one corner of my brain since I first read it last year. I wasn’t expecting to find myself rereading it just last week because of the status updates bombarding my social media accounts.
I really don’t have an intention of going this far for this book. But I became curious as to what my friends, family and some acquaintances have to say about the Grey trilogy so I posted a question on my personal Facebook account. Surprisingly, it was a mix of opinions, and hey everybody’s really talking about it, too!
Let me just say this straight: Please read or research about the book first if you haven’t. Read at least half of any of the Grey series. If you haven’t done this very important step, then by all means, keep your opinions to yourself first. I am not writing this to convince or repel you from reading the books.
photo by © BrandsandFilms.com
Why Did I Read 50 Shades of Grey?
Yuck! Mommy Porn. Reading it the secret. It’s all about sex.
Can a book be really that bad or trashy? I join the world out of curiosity because of those words. Just recently I read an article at the Time Magazine website about a husband reading 50 Shades of Grey in the secret, even hiding the cover during an airplane ride. At first I do not understand the hiding part for both men and women readers. What is so shameful about this book? I really don’t understand because there is porn everywhere almost every month on our local newsstands.
I have always loved reading and I appreciate almost all genre. I was already married when I read the series so the sex narratives did not really come as a surprise nor offended me. But I will surely have a slightly different point of view if I have read it as an unmarried woman.
If you’re planning to read 50 Shades of Grey, try to read it with an open mind — after all, it is fictitious.
50 Shades of Grey is an adult novel since it involves great and detailed narratives of sex. I believe it is a sensitive and sticky topic to discuss in a typical Filipino household. Unless you claim yourself to be mature enough to handle whatever you read or has your parents supervision while reading this, then I see no problem with it.
For those who are rereading the book like me, try skipping those very detailed and highly illustrative sex narratives and you will see the book in a different light. You will view 50 Shades of Grey as another (fairy tale-like Cinderella) love story with a happy ending.
I have to know what’s really in that well-loved book by millions around the globe so I can assess and give the right guidance to the young ones or if I’m asked to.
What I Dislike Most About 50 Shades of Grey
It’s not the sex, mind you. I have always viewed sex as something sacred and beautiful, done in the context of marriage. Call me conservative or idealistic but this is the way it should be. I just have a problem with Anastacia Steele losing her virginity to Christian Grey. In another simpler word, it is called fornication.
What I Like Most About 50 Shades of Grey
When I read the Dominant/Submissive (the effect on me is the reverse) theme as described in the book, I was reminded to reflect on my own journey and goal as a wife to always submit to my husband in all things. I don’t mean the “passive” kind of submission. Christian Grey wants Anastacia Steele to be obey him in all things. You can read the Bible to know more about this submission that I am talking about. The Bible talks a lot about the beauty of love and intimacy, specifically at Songs of Solomon — that’s their version of 50 Shades.
Have you already asked why Christian Grey behaves the way he does in the book? It’s also a call to recognize how children or adolescents are impacted by the adults sexual behavior, to think that Christian’s mother is a pediatrician! She was so clueless that her son was abused by one of her friends!
Not A Grey-Shaded Message
To the children: I don’t know how and why you are reading that and I know it’s none of my business since you have matured adults around you. But please, lend me your ears as I speak as a concerned stranger to you. I am all for reading books since I have learned a lot about the world through them.
Noting its rising and unstoppable popularity and if you really can’t control the urge to read it, please wait until you are matured enough (if possible when you are married) to read 50 Shades of Grey, then please postpone reading it. You will thank yourself for doing so, just trust my care for you in that aspect. Don’t be shy to ask questions to your parents or wise adults that you trust about sex.
To the matured adults (parents, guardians, men and women): It is our role as people “who have come before them” to guide them. This is the very reason why I felt the need to step up because I care for my daughter and I am hoping one day if this blog still exists, she will understand and find some shed of light in her path. So if that day comes and she stumbles on the Grey series, she will have a piece of my mind as a woman, wife and mother. Let’s talk about purity, faithfulness, love and joy that can be found in Christ-centered relationships.
Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as Anastacia Steele for 50 Shades of Grey on Valentines 2015 photo ©D.Ibitimes.co.uk
I won’t deny that I find the 50 Shades of Grey entertaining as a very modern, romantic literary piece. My heart flutters when I read of how Christian wants to protect and care for Ana during their “sane moments.” I enjoyed their exchange of emails part of the book. Here’s an example:
I can SO relate being a military wife.
I’ve read quite a few books in my life and this one is really exceptional in terms of the prevalent theme. But there’s no point in exaggerating and shouting to the world how yucky, inappropriate, don’t-read-it! and (you name it) this book is. Where’s MATURITY in that? Come on, this is a book! Don’t be ashamed if you read it as if you have a contagious disease.
What I recommend doing is to think of how to maturely and wisely respond to the (perceived) negative messages of this book as concerned adults and how to strongly advocate the beauty of commitment, love and beauty of intimacy in any relationship.
I don’t recommend or advocate reading 50 Shades of Grey. It’s really your choice and I believe we are matured enough to know, make our own choices, and respect that. Research if you can, then make your informed and prayerful judgment. Let’s not crucify or condemn others if they agree or refrain from reading the book.
As for me, I am excited to see the movie next year since I want to see how the book comes to life just like my other favorite books-turned-into-movies. I also do not think that my marriage has greatly been affected after reading the books. Let’s see how the screenplay goes.
I am excited to see how the Red Room of Pain, Charlie Tango, Christian Grey’s house and cars would actually look like, and if Twinings would be a movie sponsor. Just kidding!
Let me end this post with these words from Paul:
“A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord. A husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head and the Savior of the church, which is his own body. Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first. A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself. So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33, CEV)
Love. Communicate. Respect.
God speaks to us in so many different and distinct ways. As for me, I choose to redeem this book as a powerful example of how different and unique relationships are from one another and how love can redeem the bad, unfortunate and negatives in each love stories and people. You’d probably won’t believe it but I found God teaching me through this book.
What do you personally feel and think about the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy? Let’s talk. ♥