Can A Military Wife Be Prepared Enough?

Recently, I’ve been keen in following the news about the incident that happened last Sunday that killed the 44 PNP-SAF troopers at Mamasapano, Maguindanao. Since then, I’ve held my tongue and tried my best to analyze everything that has transpired and impacted the lives of many Filipinos directly and indirectly.

After almost a week, I still couldn’t keep myself from crying every time I watch the replay of the necrological service that was done for the fallen commandos. I specifically refer to Mrs. Pabalinas’ speech.

I don’t know why we have come to this. Filipinos killing one another. All for the sake of what? Control? Dominion? Superiority? Authority? Freedom? Birth Rights? Wealth? No matter what it is, it must be extremely important that one’s be willing to give up his life just to make it happen.

Christine Kiangan, Noble Charlie Kiangan

©Yahoo! News

Last night, I was talking and discussing this with my husband and I just realized that hey, I might really be over thinking things. Can I blame my enthusiasm in watching Game of Thrones (GoT), or one of those historical Asian dramas? Partly yes. Though them, especially GoT, has made me realize a lot of things about life, power, politics, family and relationships.

Blame Game seems to be every one’s kind of game these days. I remember one day last week when my younger brother asked me, “Ate, ikaw handa ka na ba sa mga ganyan?” He was obviously referring to my situation as a military spouse. I found myself giving a quick answer, “Oo naman. Parte na ng trabaho nila ‘yan.” Only to find myself lost in my very own answer minutes later.

Can a Military Spouse Be Prepared Enough?

I cannot speak for the rest of the women who stand behind their uniformed man since each wife has her own thoughts about it. As I ponder on that one simple question, I realized that there are things in life that are certainly easier said than done.

You can never be prepared enough for death. As a military wife, my mind knows full well that death is the occupational hazard that my husband is constantly faced with. Care for a little secret? Even after being together for  the last 8 years, I still cry whenever he is to report back for duty. It is so highly possible that he can never go back to us alive or well. I know that this idea might be too torturous for every wife but yes, this is the kind of family relationship that we go through. As for every vacation or R&R (Rest & Recreation) breaks, each parting time or scene at the airport is like dying three or four times a year for a wife since it could be the last.


©Manila Bulletin

When Desecration becomes the new name of death. Disrespecting a fallen warrior in times of war through beheading, mutilation, thievery, and other crimes with an aim to dishonor the dead is every military family’s worst nightmare. I cannot comprehend the kind of satisfaction desecration brings to a perpetrator. This what I think brings the most pain to the loved-ones of the Fallen 44.

“Whatever is dead may never die.” After all the pain, I believe military families also draw comfort from the fact that the Filipino people are showing support and recognition to what these men in uniform has done to protect our freedom, rights and normalcy. If I may quote what Supt. Noli Taliño’s said in his eulogy, “While you enjoy the laughter of family and friends, and the safety and comfort of your homes, there are men and women who sacrifice time, effort, and their very lives in the fulfillment of their jobs and duties to give you normalcy. These are the men and women….who know how to die.” I still dream that one day, both the government and our fellow Filipinos would really keep into heart that majority of our military troops (both AFP and PNP) are heroes. These heroes also represent families who serve with them side-by-side. May all our fallen heroes never die in your heart and deeds.

Filipinos pay tribute to slain policemen

“For the grieving wives, just like me, let us be strong for our children. Because behind every brave SAF trooper is a strong wife. Behind every brave SAF trooper is a strong wife. To our president, we seek for your help to attain justice. Please, Sir President, please help us.” ©Rappler

Can a military wife be prepared enough? Not yet.


  1. Cherry Templo says:

    Hi! I have been a military wife for 11 years and I can say that you never get used to it but therein lies our strength as military wives. I just hold on to the thought that if it is God’s will to take him, let it be as a hero. I hope that through this tragedy, the Filipino people will regard our uniformed men with the honor they deserve for laying their lives for the comforts they enjoy. I agree with Mrs. Pabalinas and to rephrase it, behind every man in uniform is a strong wife! God bless and keep the faith.

  2. Kat | Petite Momma says:

    Reading your post reminded me of how my mom had to go through the same situation you are now when my dad was still active in the army. Now that my dad’s retired and we are all grown-ups, he can finally tell stories of his missions then. I now understand and see the bigger picture on the lives of uniformed men. No wife is ready for it; the children moreso. I pray that our country will have peace soon.

  3. Zoan says:

    true. Nobody is prepared to receive news about deaths. I am not even ready yet. A lot of people kept on asking me if ever I am ready to be a military-wife and I always say yes with dignity and pride but then again, at night, I ask myself if indeed Am I really ready or not?

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